We shall meet again – Lockdown Monologue
Preface
The following text is a three-part monologue which describes the thoughts of a person in a period of great horror and difficulty. Inspiration to this monologue serves the COVID-19 pandemic. The descriptions are written in first-person and can reflect any period of difficulty. Thus, they are not restricted to represent only the current pandemic we are facing. The individual neither has a name nor a gender. This was done intentionally as anyone may be found in the same position and relate to it.
Part 1
We knew there was no one — to who to complain? But this could not last any longer. We had forgotten what it was like to welcome someone, the moves you make when you greet them. There were times when the idea of an impending death was as palpable as when our bodies were touching each other. I was patient, very patient. We wanted to escape but where to? I felt like I was doomed to death, trapped in a fake world, where the last minutes of my life are snatched from my last desire to go out, to feel the sun rays on my body, hugging me warmly and to listen to the waves of the sea — the water rhythmically wetting my bare feet. But all this was an illusion. We will not go out to work again, make a career, make our dreams come true. In these moments however, anything was better than the situation we were experiencing. While we were there nothing bad could happen to us…. or at least that is what we thought. We kept dreaming for our future… quite ironic for what happened afterwards. We did not know…because in reality there was no way to escape. We were hooked on each other day by day, weaving a present that had no future. They say that everyone has the right to decide for themselves, they call it free will and you chose what I told you not to do, to forget. Wasn’t it nice in our little world? I miss you, I miss you deeply.
Part 2
I felt numb from all the pain. I wanted to break through the glass ceiling and scream. Scream with all of my strength till the whole world heard me. I was alone surrounded by darkness, no one to reach, no one to talk to. It was completely deserted, and the second wave was coming. Although distant, yet I could sense it, smell it and see it by stepping on my toes and glancing at the horizon. It felt like I was dragging my body. Any effort I made felt like it had no value, no meaning, no sense with time moving so slow that it made me feel like I had counted all the stars of the night sky, one by one. Being close to nature and walking barefoot in the forest, made me feel closer to humanity. I could feel the texture of the leaves, touch the trees and discern through my nostrils the fresh smell of rain. I felt a few raindrops falling in my face and raised my head up to the cloudy sky. A small smile formed in my weathered face. Since I was a kid, I loved the rain. It made me happy. It gives you a sense of freedom and calamity. Yes, rain… you… you are my redemption. Only you can cleanse my soul from my sins. This happiness, however, is temporary. How shall I protect myself for what’s coming? I do not feel properly armed for the future. I had no strength left and what was coming was even worse than before… you left me all alone and unprepared to face it.
Part 3
It’s here. The second wave has come, stronger than ever, to take us all with it. I never imagined my future to be like this, I always had dreams, goals and aspirations. My desire was to live my life to the fullest and I will. I will accept what has come and nothing and no one will stop me. Yes, I am scared to face this new reality and yes, I said I was unprepared. Come on, stand up and walk out of the house. There was enough time to process the issue. Time was slow, very slow. No matter how scared I am, I shall take responsibility and stand upon my feet and face it because ultimately it is inevitable. Things in life don’t come easy and we shall learn to cope with the difficulties that come. No matter the outcome we eventually become stronger, wiser and better. My heart starts beating faster and faster and my feet seem unstable. Yet here I am, standing in front of you. Our bodies facing each other, our eyes staring at each other. I now feel free and have nothing to be afraid of. I have faith and confidence in myself that anything that comes in my way, I will deal with.
